Understanding

Each day more in love, but that is not all we have between us as many of your readers believe. I see each word you write baby and I understand what you desire to convey, then I read what people say about us, but it does not affect me negatively. Sure you smile and shrug it off and ask me not to reply because I may hurt their feelings.

Their feelings…..
What about your feelings and the truth behind your gestures.

What about my feelings.

They never saw the personal battle you have fought to come alive again. They didn’t sit stroking your head and back when you came home with a black eye and drunk. They have forgotten where you started when we met. The protective brick walls and metallic barriers that surrounded you keeping you emotionally safe. They don’t see this or they don’t remember but I will never forget. They do not know about my panicked phone calls to friends searching for you when I was unable to contact or find you myself. They do not know about the dark memories that haunt you and what brings you peace.

We came a long way matoki. And we have even longer way to travel. New memories to build. Together we have a lot more to grow… As if I wasn’t a part of you already. You have always been good to me and no there is no wool covering my eyes I can see perfectly well. Thank you for the dresses that caused such a fuss in a post you have made about them. They are very beautiful and those pockets are the best feature. Now I can call you too when I am moving. I must always have the constant ability to contact you. Though there are the times when your work prevent that, but there is email when it happens.

Do you remember the last war I was panicked and you said don’t worry baby I promise to be home after. Then you dropped, “I can’t take my phone” and my heart fell out of me. But you promissed you will have email. Do you remember receiving an email marked every hour or half an hour. Thank you for responding to every one of them when you had the time to breathe instead of resting and setting my mind at ease. It told me you were keeping your promise. The promise you make each time they take you. The promise that you were coming home to me alive and whole baby.

Tinoki you are a lot more focused more on advancing and bettering yourself and I am proud of you. Do not stop no matter what this world we live in throws in front of you or us and remember that I will always be there.

Now I sit thinking about us and all our misunderstandings and disagreements, but for sure even after I shut down and started rebuilding my protective walls, you were still there making sure I was settled and fine. Maybe I will talk a little about this next post.

I love you tinoki